Every Father waits for the moment that their sons start to sever some of the apron strings with their mothers. I wanted a son so badly the first time around and I remember slightly being disappointed when I found out my first child was to be a super girl and would be lacking the Y chromosome. I think if ever expecting Father of their first child is honest he would tell you he is secretly hoping for a son. We have these visions in our heads of doing all these great activities and sports with our sons.
The reality is that boys bond very closely with their mothers in their early years and little girls develop special bonds with their fathers. This is a huge generalization but I'll be buggard if it didn't work out that way with me and my children. SG and I became really close from an early stage in her infancy and I have honestly struggled with SB. It's not because I haven't tried but there has been an issue of butting heads and trying to find some common ground that we can relate and talk about.
This past year those ties that bind as the cliche goes have started to take place with me and SB. I am an avid sports fan or should I say I am an avid Football and Basketball fan. I don't go as far as some who will watch any game any time. The game has to have a team I'm following or a big rivalry game for me to watch it unless it's the playoffs and then I watch every second, every play, every foul,every out, every strike, every touchdown, every pick and roll, and every timeout. It is the best drama on TV and to borrow the line from TNT it's Win or Go Home.
This has been the year that my son has discovered sports and not just playing them but watching them as well. When SB and SG are with us we spend a lot of time outdoors playing sports from skiing ,to tossing the football around, swimming and shooting hoops. I have learned this spring that both my children have really nice jump shots and SB is really good at basketball and plays with his friends at recess almost every day in school. This past year I took SB to his first college football game (an in state rivalry game) and to his first professional basketball game. He struggled with the understanding of the complex rules of football but he completely understands basketball. I have never seen my son get so excited as I did at his first basketball game. Our team won and he saved the game program and by the next he could tell you every player and their number on our team's roster. Two months later he can still me what the score was and what team we played.
Two and a half months later over spring break I took SB to his second game and his face was lit with excitement the entire game. I even caught one of those mini soft basketballs at the game and he has now permanently placed it on his bed right next to his Pirate Mickey Mouse from Disneyland (the highest honor it could have received). At the end of spring break he took home his game programs and our teams schedule so he would know when our team was playing. We also found a book on Amazon.com about our home team and had it mailed to him in Smallville.
Tonight Lois called me and told me I needed to call SB right away. SB didn't quite have a grasp on the playoff system and Lois didn't have enough time to explain it between her flights so we talked for an hour about basketball. We discussed the playoff best of seven system and how well our team matched up against their current opponent. We talked about his book and he read to me from it. He wanted to know who we would play in the next round of the playoffs and if we could beat them. My son has never carried on a conversation that has lasted for more than ten minutes at the most before and I think he would still be asking me questions if his Aunt hadn't called and needed to talk to Krypto.
This year SB got into football as well especially the playoffs. He didn't tell me until the day before the Superbowl that he was rooting for Eli Manning and the Giants. This about killed me because I am a HUGE DALLAS COWBOY FAN and the giants are one of Dallas's NFC East rivals. Talk about heart failure. I didn't say a word about it because I have been encouraging him to find things or choose things because he likes them and not because his family or friends like them. We even got him an Eli Manning Superbowl MVP t-shirt for him and he absolutely loved it. I hope one day I can take him to a Dallas vs. New York game and yes there will be trash talking during the game.
I look back on my childhood and some of my fondest memories are of watching the Cowboys play curled up with my Dad in his black recliner. Sports and the Cowboys were the things my Father and I have always been able to talk about. I am now on the other side of the relationship now with SB and understand the joy my Father must have felt as he taught me about something he was passionate about. Our relationship is really starting to grow and now the trick is to broaden our bonds to many other things as well.
22 April 2008
14 April 2008
Just another day in the house of El
For those of you who read the daily planet you will have noticed the renovations we have made to our virtual newspaper. Mainly, the new music that now plays as you read the exciting saga of our life. You can thank our star reporter and my wife, Lois Lane. She has helped me so much with the alien world of blogging. Without her I would never post anything or have, if I do say so myself, a pretty cool looking blog. I have been off the last week due to some minor injuries from the gym that I needed to have a doctor take a look at to make sure I didn't really mess anything up with my elbow and knee. Gratefully the x-rays and examination just turned up some minor injuries that a brace and physical therapy will be able to fix.
While I have been home it has been nice to spend time with Lois at home in Metropolis for some much needed "R and R." We have also been able to take care of some things that always find a way of being put off for later because of time restraints or lack of money or whatever excuse we come up with. First, we addressed some issues with the SK's room and have made some great additions to it to maximize their space and make it more comfortable for them. I know they will be excited when they walk into their room this summer when they come home.
I also made my way up to Metropolis University and made some preparations to go back to school in the fall. I can't wait to start school and to head up to campus for classes. Lois and I can't wait for the first football game of the season which will be an away game against a university up in Michigan.
One of the biggest things we have been kicking around for the better part of the year is the purchase of a new vehicle. I had a Dodge crew cab 1500 Ram that I absolutely loved. I had done my research and went out to specifically buy that particular year and model of truck. My truck was red and it ran like a dream. The SK's loved it just as much as I did and it had so much room in it for all of us. I bought this truck soon after Lois and I started dating and back then she used to sit next to me and she used to lay down with her head in my lap for a long nap on the long drives to Smallville to pick up the kids. I babied my truck and I truly loved driving it. The negatives of my truck were outweighing the positives here lately. First of all, the cost of gas has skyrocketed and lets jut say my truck had a drinking problem. Second, my truck was a 4x2 and it snows here in Metropolis. I don't know if any of you have ever driven a rear wheel drive car on ice and snow but a rear wheel drive pickup on ice can be about as much fun as running in place and as productive. We have been talking over the idea of changing our vehicles for a while and we decided to start looking a few weeks ago.
We wanted to find an all wheel drive or 4x4 car or suv that got good gas mileage and was safe to drive. We did our homework and narrowed our selection down to a Subaru. All Subarus are All Wheel Drive and have been since 1997. They have some of the highest crash test ratings in the industry and they get 20 mpg in the city and 28 mpg on the highway. The question was would we get an Outback, an Impreza, or a Forester. We test drove a couple of Subarus last week and we really liked the way the car handled and performed.
This week we were home and Lois and I headed over to our bank to see what we would qualify for. Lois qualified for a great loan with a great inerest rate and the bank said to have fun shopping. Complete turn of events from my last marriage. I was the only one who could qualify for a loan of any type and my ex wife tried to make sure that we would never qualify for any type of loan in the future. Just read the last headline Another Repo for Krypto. Lois was a little worried about going in to the bank but after we talked about it and we pulled up in front of the bank she seemed pretty confident. Car shopping is so much easier when you are pre-qualified and a lot of the games the dealers play get tossed out of the window. It allows you to discuss only the price of the car and value of your trade. The famous question of what payment are you looking to stay around is mute and any advantage you can take with you to the dealership is huge.
One night this week my mind was racing about life and many of these questions I have addressed in this post and could not sleep. I hopped on the web wrote a post and took a page out of Lois's playbook and shopped online for a new car. I found a Subaru Forester at a great price about $4,000 lower than everyone else was asking for the 2008 models. Later that morning I registered my truck and spent a couple of hours cleaning the old red truck up and Lois and I headed off to see if they still had the car I saw on the Internet.
Lois and I found the car and we took it for a spin with the salesman. We compared it to a couple of other cars on the lot and we kept coming back to the same black 2008 we saw on the Internet. Lois and I agreed at that point and she told me to handle all the negotiations with the salesmen and she trusted me. I told the salesman that we were pre-qualified through our bank and the only thing that would prevent him from making the sale was the issue of our trade in. They went over my truck and the one thing they kept saying was how nice the truck was and that it didn't need anything done to it. I knew going in that 1. it was a truck with bad gas mileage and 2. it was a 4x2 and I was going to take a hit on my trade. We played the slide the piece of paper game across the desk and I told the salesman what I wanted for my truck and he said he would go and see. If I had traded my truck in, in another state I know I would have received more for my trade but the price the dealer had on the Forester evened things out. First we reduced our car payment. Second we will lower our gas bill because of the improved gas mileage. Third the new car is under warranty and this vehicle will last us through the next ten years. We finalized the sale and we drove off in our new car. And yes it was extremely hard driving off and leaving my old red truck behind. There are a lot of great memories in that old truck and it almost felt like leaving a family member behind. Isn't it funny how we become attached to inanimate objects?
While I have been home it has been nice to spend time with Lois at home in Metropolis for some much needed "R and R." We have also been able to take care of some things that always find a way of being put off for later because of time restraints or lack of money or whatever excuse we come up with. First, we addressed some issues with the SK's room and have made some great additions to it to maximize their space and make it more comfortable for them. I know they will be excited when they walk into their room this summer when they come home.
I also made my way up to Metropolis University and made some preparations to go back to school in the fall. I can't wait to start school and to head up to campus for classes. Lois and I can't wait for the first football game of the season which will be an away game against a university up in Michigan.
One of the biggest things we have been kicking around for the better part of the year is the purchase of a new vehicle. I had a Dodge crew cab 1500 Ram that I absolutely loved. I had done my research and went out to specifically buy that particular year and model of truck. My truck was red and it ran like a dream. The SK's loved it just as much as I did and it had so much room in it for all of us. I bought this truck soon after Lois and I started dating and back then she used to sit next to me and she used to lay down with her head in my lap for a long nap on the long drives to Smallville to pick up the kids. I babied my truck and I truly loved driving it. The negatives of my truck were outweighing the positives here lately. First of all, the cost of gas has skyrocketed and lets jut say my truck had a drinking problem. Second, my truck was a 4x2 and it snows here in Metropolis. I don't know if any of you have ever driven a rear wheel drive car on ice and snow but a rear wheel drive pickup on ice can be about as much fun as running in place and as productive. We have been talking over the idea of changing our vehicles for a while and we decided to start looking a few weeks ago.
We wanted to find an all wheel drive or 4x4 car or suv that got good gas mileage and was safe to drive. We did our homework and narrowed our selection down to a Subaru. All Subarus are All Wheel Drive and have been since 1997. They have some of the highest crash test ratings in the industry and they get 20 mpg in the city and 28 mpg on the highway. The question was would we get an Outback, an Impreza, or a Forester. We test drove a couple of Subarus last week and we really liked the way the car handled and performed.
This week we were home and Lois and I headed over to our bank to see what we would qualify for. Lois qualified for a great loan with a great inerest rate and the bank said to have fun shopping. Complete turn of events from my last marriage. I was the only one who could qualify for a loan of any type and my ex wife tried to make sure that we would never qualify for any type of loan in the future. Just read the last headline Another Repo for Krypto. Lois was a little worried about going in to the bank but after we talked about it and we pulled up in front of the bank she seemed pretty confident. Car shopping is so much easier when you are pre-qualified and a lot of the games the dealers play get tossed out of the window. It allows you to discuss only the price of the car and value of your trade. The famous question of what payment are you looking to stay around is mute and any advantage you can take with you to the dealership is huge.
One night this week my mind was racing about life and many of these questions I have addressed in this post and could not sleep. I hopped on the web wrote a post and took a page out of Lois's playbook and shopped online for a new car. I found a Subaru Forester at a great price about $4,000 lower than everyone else was asking for the 2008 models. Later that morning I registered my truck and spent a couple of hours cleaning the old red truck up and Lois and I headed off to see if they still had the car I saw on the Internet.
Lois and I found the car and we took it for a spin with the salesman. We compared it to a couple of other cars on the lot and we kept coming back to the same black 2008 we saw on the Internet. Lois and I agreed at that point and she told me to handle all the negotiations with the salesmen and she trusted me. I told the salesman that we were pre-qualified through our bank and the only thing that would prevent him from making the sale was the issue of our trade in. They went over my truck and the one thing they kept saying was how nice the truck was and that it didn't need anything done to it. I knew going in that 1. it was a truck with bad gas mileage and 2. it was a 4x2 and I was going to take a hit on my trade. We played the slide the piece of paper game across the desk and I told the salesman what I wanted for my truck and he said he would go and see. If I had traded my truck in, in another state I know I would have received more for my trade but the price the dealer had on the Forester evened things out. First we reduced our car payment. Second we will lower our gas bill because of the improved gas mileage. Third the new car is under warranty and this vehicle will last us through the next ten years. We finalized the sale and we drove off in our new car. And yes it was extremely hard driving off and leaving my old red truck behind. There are a lot of great memories in that old truck and it almost felt like leaving a family member behind. Isn't it funny how we become attached to inanimate objects?
10 April 2008
Another REPO for KRYPTO
It's 7 am and this reporter has a bad case of insomnia and I find myself in front of the computer watching the sunrise over Metropolis. So here I am turning out another breaking news story. Wait a minute, does it classify as breaking news when the story has occurred once before. Let me set the story straight on the first occasion Krypto had a car repossessed. I was getting ready to leave for work and on the way out the door I asked Krypto if all the bills were paid and she said "Yes". I asked her if everything was current and she said "Yes." I headed out the door off to the friendly skies with a feeling that everything was alright and that we were doing ok financially. Three days later I landed around midnight and approx 2 hours later I pulled into the driveway in my airport clunker car. The first thing that caught my eye was Krypto was sitting on the front porch with superboy( he wasn't even two yet) in her lap. I know your thinking oh how cute she waited up for her husband. This is the only occasion that I remember that my ex wife ever waited up for me to get in from a trip. The next question you might ask was what was superboy doing up at 2 am in the morning. I then noticed a green minivan parked in the carport. My first thought was that our car was in the shop and this was a loaner vehicle( well that's what I was hoping for). As I was getting my luggage out of the trunk I asked Krypto where the car was. This is the car I bought brand new off the lot at $200.00 over the invoice and had less than a year left to pay it off and have no car payments. Krypto said quietly "They came and got it." My response was "What do you mean they came and got it?" Krypto stated "The bank came and got it." I asked "Why would the bank come and take the car if were current on the payments?" Krypto lied to me and said we were a month behind on our payments. I told Krypto that banks do not repo cars for being a month behind without sending notices or calling. Krypto lied again and said she didn't receive anything in the mail or receive any phone calls from the bank. The truth of the matter was that Krypto hadn't made a car payment in four months and I didn't have the money to get the car loan current. I truly do not now how I kept from losing it that night and I am so thankful that I didn't do something stupid like beat some honest answers out of her(this being the real reason SB was in hr lap...a shield). That was the fork in the road for me and I struggled so hard with the decision to leave. I knew the only way I could ever provide a better life for my children was by leaving not by staying. Lois and I do provide a better life for them when they are with us and they can see how the different decisions their parent's make affect them and their separate families. My only hope is that they wont have the same mental issues as Krypto and not see anything wrong with Krypto's actions.
Now fast forward from 2002 to 2008. Krypto is remarried to an honest guy, they have a one year old infant, and Krypto has just started a new job. At some point in the night I am assuming a repo driver showed up and repossessed Krypto's minivan (not the same green one from 2002) leaving her without a way to get the children to school or herself to her second day of work. That's right she has to call in on her second day of work at her new job. I can't imagine what is going through the minds of SB and SG. They weren't old enough to remember or understand what happened in 2002, but I cant imagine them not sensing somethings wrong this time around. How do you go about explaining to your children that you blew your families money on who knows what and because of it you neglected to pay your car payments and lost the family car. She didn't do a very good job last time it happened and I'm sure her new husband received the standard Krypto line "I don't know." That's the answer she gave to me when I asked her first "Why didn't you make the car payment" and second "What did you do with the money that was supposed to go towards the car payment?" This also became the standard line from SB any time he got in trouble and was asked why he did something. The phrase "I don't know" is no longer allowed to be used in our household.
The other not-breaking news is that Krypto has another warrant out for her arrest. Does any one out there want to take a wild guess what it's for. I'll give you a hint it has something to do with money and not following through with a promise. Her warrant is for Issuance Of Bad Check or Theft by Check. Krypto already has seven other previous convictions for the same offense and this will make eight. This is the example she sets for the super kids a life of lies, and criminal offenses. You know her mother and father are so proud.
I have always said that Krypto is a financial time bomb waiting to happen. One of these days the mess made from one of her self implosions will not be so easy to clean up. One of these days she will cross a line and there will be no one there to enable her or to help her and she will be held accountable for her actions. She not only destroys her future but also every one that has cared for her or currently does. She will take any one down with her that is standing to close. She once ruined my credit, let me go to jail for crimes she committed, has ruined her credit, has ruined her new husband's credit, has ruined her mother's credit, pawned her own wedding ring that she designed, has caused a foreclosure, two repossessions and is suspected of stealing money from her own parents.
What gets me is that people say yeah, but she's a good mother. My own Father is one of these idiots who thinks I'm a bad father because I moved to another state and sticks up for her. How does putting yourself and your secret vices before everything else constitute being referred to as a good mother. Why does society move so quickly to label mothers as the rightful heirs to the children and viewed as saints while we vilify the fathers and view them as an evil necessity for child support. It amazes me how far society's views change and swing when we try to correct for previous wrongs. It was not so long ago that women's rights was at the forefront of change in this country. Before women had no rights and in cases of divorce the men pretty much received everything right down to the children if they so desired. There is no question that that system was seriously flawed and was in desperate need of correction. But how far do we go the other way to make up for previous injustices. Take for example the Presidential election this year and Sen. Barack Obama. We all know that slavery was an evil and oppressive act that diminished the human spirit in the black race. Many wonderful and brave men like Dr. King gave their lives to the cause of civil rights. But how far will we go to correct those injustices. There have been polls and studies showing that white males are supporting Sen. Obama simply because it makes them feel good to vote for a black candidate and less like a bigot. Do not get me wrong I believe Sen. Obama to be a good honest man and believe he would make a good President but I wouldn't vote for him out of some kind of guilt. The issue of equality was the concern and forefront of the civil rights and women's suffrage movements. That's all that we as Fathers want is equality and just like Susan B. Anthony and Dr. Martin Luther King we will face opposition for simply asking for this right.
Now fast forward from 2002 to 2008. Krypto is remarried to an honest guy, they have a one year old infant, and Krypto has just started a new job. At some point in the night I am assuming a repo driver showed up and repossessed Krypto's minivan (not the same green one from 2002) leaving her without a way to get the children to school or herself to her second day of work. That's right she has to call in on her second day of work at her new job. I can't imagine what is going through the minds of SB and SG. They weren't old enough to remember or understand what happened in 2002, but I cant imagine them not sensing somethings wrong this time around. How do you go about explaining to your children that you blew your families money on who knows what and because of it you neglected to pay your car payments and lost the family car. She didn't do a very good job last time it happened and I'm sure her new husband received the standard Krypto line "I don't know." That's the answer she gave to me when I asked her first "Why didn't you make the car payment" and second "What did you do with the money that was supposed to go towards the car payment?" This also became the standard line from SB any time he got in trouble and was asked why he did something. The phrase "I don't know" is no longer allowed to be used in our household.
The other not-breaking news is that Krypto has another warrant out for her arrest. Does any one out there want to take a wild guess what it's for. I'll give you a hint it has something to do with money and not following through with a promise. Her warrant is for Issuance Of Bad Check or Theft by Check. Krypto already has seven other previous convictions for the same offense and this will make eight. This is the example she sets for the super kids a life of lies, and criminal offenses. You know her mother and father are so proud.
I have always said that Krypto is a financial time bomb waiting to happen. One of these days the mess made from one of her self implosions will not be so easy to clean up. One of these days she will cross a line and there will be no one there to enable her or to help her and she will be held accountable for her actions. She not only destroys her future but also every one that has cared for her or currently does. She will take any one down with her that is standing to close. She once ruined my credit, let me go to jail for crimes she committed, has ruined her credit, has ruined her new husband's credit, has ruined her mother's credit, pawned her own wedding ring that she designed, has caused a foreclosure, two repossessions and is suspected of stealing money from her own parents.
What gets me is that people say yeah, but she's a good mother. My own Father is one of these idiots who thinks I'm a bad father because I moved to another state and sticks up for her. How does putting yourself and your secret vices before everything else constitute being referred to as a good mother. Why does society move so quickly to label mothers as the rightful heirs to the children and viewed as saints while we vilify the fathers and view them as an evil necessity for child support. It amazes me how far society's views change and swing when we try to correct for previous wrongs. It was not so long ago that women's rights was at the forefront of change in this country. Before women had no rights and in cases of divorce the men pretty much received everything right down to the children if they so desired. There is no question that that system was seriously flawed and was in desperate need of correction. But how far do we go the other way to make up for previous injustices. Take for example the Presidential election this year and Sen. Barack Obama. We all know that slavery was an evil and oppressive act that diminished the human spirit in the black race. Many wonderful and brave men like Dr. King gave their lives to the cause of civil rights. But how far will we go to correct those injustices. There have been polls and studies showing that white males are supporting Sen. Obama simply because it makes them feel good to vote for a black candidate and less like a bigot. Do not get me wrong I believe Sen. Obama to be a good honest man and believe he would make a good President but I wouldn't vote for him out of some kind of guilt. The issue of equality was the concern and forefront of the civil rights and women's suffrage movements. That's all that we as Fathers want is equality and just like Susan B. Anthony and Dr. Martin Luther King we will face opposition for simply asking for this right.
06 April 2008
Focusing on the Super Kids
Our lives always seem to revolve around the Super Kids even when they are not with us. Lois was on the computer today and I asked her what she was doing and she responded shopping for SG. She was looking for summer clothes and was taking notes. Later in the day we were out and about and Lois said she needed a new book since she just finished "The Looking Glass Wars" which she highly recommended to me ( It's a new twist on Alice in Wonderland ). We were driving by Barnes and Noble so we stopped in to take a look around. The first thing I thought of was to head to the children's section to look for a book for SB about the New York Yankees. We are taking a family vacation to New York this summer and will be attending a Yankee game. I found him a great book called "The Story of the New York Yankees" which is in his reading level. This is the last year the Yanks will be playing in the House that Ruth Built. We have already bought our tickets for the baseball game, tickets to WICKED the musical ( SG is really excited about Wicked) and have paid for our hotel in Times Square. We are so excited to take the Super Kids to New York and expose them to a new adventure.
We called the Super Kids tonight and only SG was home. As usual when she realised who was on the phone her voice lit up. She was excited to tell me she was about to eat some chocolate ice cream, her favorite flavor, they had bought earlier. She seemed to be in good spirits and we had a nice talk. I really wanted to talk to SB to tell him about the books we had bought and were sending to him. We also bought him a book about his favorite basketball team on Amazon and had it shipped to him. Unfortunately SB was at a friends for a sleep over. Lois and I can't have a lengthy conversation without somehow the Super Kids always coming up. Tonight, of course, we started talking about the kids and we started talking about some of their needs for summer and we talked about getting a bunk bed to help free up some space in their room. For those of you who don't know Lois, the first place she headed to was the Internet to shop for bunk beds and sure enough within an hour we found a great bunk bed (twin on top full on bottom) made out of Brazilian Pine in a honey finish. There was no sales tax and the shipping was free and you guessed it, it will be here in a week. We have decided not to tell the kids about their new bunk bed until they walk in there room this summer and just let it be a huge surprise. We told the kids we would buy them a bunk bed and the one thing I have made a priority with the kids is to always fulfill our promises. Krypto lies to the kids all the time from "I'm going to buy you a new bedroom suite", to "We're going to take a vacation to Disneyland", or "You can play football this year." Those are just a few of the promises made by Krypto and none of them kept. Because of this I truly can't not follow through with a promise. The kids need someone to show them that your word means something and to be able to trust someone. I want the kids to know that they can rely on us and depend on us. Period. No questions asked. The kids always ask questions about the plans we make and we constantly have to reassure them. The trip to New york isn't just a family vacation it's a fulfillment of a promise made to a 6 year old boy. We do something special for our kids 8th birthdays. SG chose to go to Sea World for her 8th birthday and you should have seen the size of the stuffed Shamu she brought home (seriously it wouldn't fit in the overhead bin on the plane). While we were on that trip I asked SB where he wanted to go for his 8th birthday and after tossing some ideas out there he said he wanted to go to see the Yankees play baseball where Babe Ruth played. We have been planning this trip for two years and I can't wait to see the joy and excitement in the kids faces. This trip will also fulfill a broken promise from Krypto. She told SG she would take her to see Wicked when it was on tour and coming to Smallville. You guessed it, Wicked came and went and SG never saw one single act. Now mind you we were the ones who introduced SG to Wicked and many other musicals. Their iPods are loaded with Wicked, Annie, Annie Get Your Gun, Newsies, Hairspray and High School Musical. These are the promises I take a quiet victory in fulfilling. I don't rub it in or gloat or point it out to the kids that there mom is a liar. I waited for three years for Krypto to take the kids to Disneyland. Three years! I got tired of waiting and hearing the excitement in the kids voices as they would tell me that their mom was going to take them to Disneyland. I desperately hoped Krypto would follow through but it never happened. Lois and I took the challenge upon ourselves and we took them to Disneyland and yep we took them again the year after that just for good measure. My ex mother-in-law actually had the nerve to try and make me feel guilty for taking the kids to Disneyland because Krypto didn't have the money. She couldn't save enough money in three years! These kids live in a world of uncertainty and are being taught by their mom that promises are meant to be broken and that it's okay to lie to cover up your mistakes. This is one of my challenges as a father to teach my children that there is another side and the peace that comes from being able to rely on one another and not worry about the last lie you told and how you are going to cover it up. Maybe this is why Lois and I are always thinking about the kids because we are always worried about them when they are with Krypto.
We called the Super Kids tonight and only SG was home. As usual when she realised who was on the phone her voice lit up. She was excited to tell me she was about to eat some chocolate ice cream, her favorite flavor, they had bought earlier. She seemed to be in good spirits and we had a nice talk. I really wanted to talk to SB to tell him about the books we had bought and were sending to him. We also bought him a book about his favorite basketball team on Amazon and had it shipped to him. Unfortunately SB was at a friends for a sleep over. Lois and I can't have a lengthy conversation without somehow the Super Kids always coming up. Tonight, of course, we started talking about the kids and we started talking about some of their needs for summer and we talked about getting a bunk bed to help free up some space in their room. For those of you who don't know Lois, the first place she headed to was the Internet to shop for bunk beds and sure enough within an hour we found a great bunk bed (twin on top full on bottom) made out of Brazilian Pine in a honey finish. There was no sales tax and the shipping was free and you guessed it, it will be here in a week. We have decided not to tell the kids about their new bunk bed until they walk in there room this summer and just let it be a huge surprise. We told the kids we would buy them a bunk bed and the one thing I have made a priority with the kids is to always fulfill our promises. Krypto lies to the kids all the time from "I'm going to buy you a new bedroom suite", to "We're going to take a vacation to Disneyland", or "You can play football this year." Those are just a few of the promises made by Krypto and none of them kept. Because of this I truly can't not follow through with a promise. The kids need someone to show them that your word means something and to be able to trust someone. I want the kids to know that they can rely on us and depend on us. Period. No questions asked. The kids always ask questions about the plans we make and we constantly have to reassure them. The trip to New york isn't just a family vacation it's a fulfillment of a promise made to a 6 year old boy. We do something special for our kids 8th birthdays. SG chose to go to Sea World for her 8th birthday and you should have seen the size of the stuffed Shamu she brought home (seriously it wouldn't fit in the overhead bin on the plane). While we were on that trip I asked SB where he wanted to go for his 8th birthday and after tossing some ideas out there he said he wanted to go to see the Yankees play baseball where Babe Ruth played. We have been planning this trip for two years and I can't wait to see the joy and excitement in the kids faces. This trip will also fulfill a broken promise from Krypto. She told SG she would take her to see Wicked when it was on tour and coming to Smallville. You guessed it, Wicked came and went and SG never saw one single act. Now mind you we were the ones who introduced SG to Wicked and many other musicals. Their iPods are loaded with Wicked, Annie, Annie Get Your Gun, Newsies, Hairspray and High School Musical. These are the promises I take a quiet victory in fulfilling. I don't rub it in or gloat or point it out to the kids that there mom is a liar. I waited for three years for Krypto to take the kids to Disneyland. Three years! I got tired of waiting and hearing the excitement in the kids voices as they would tell me that their mom was going to take them to Disneyland. I desperately hoped Krypto would follow through but it never happened. Lois and I took the challenge upon ourselves and we took them to Disneyland and yep we took them again the year after that just for good measure. My ex mother-in-law actually had the nerve to try and make me feel guilty for taking the kids to Disneyland because Krypto didn't have the money. She couldn't save enough money in three years! These kids live in a world of uncertainty and are being taught by their mom that promises are meant to be broken and that it's okay to lie to cover up your mistakes. This is one of my challenges as a father to teach my children that there is another side and the peace that comes from being able to rely on one another and not worry about the last lie you told and how you are going to cover it up. Maybe this is why Lois and I are always thinking about the kids because we are always worried about them when they are with Krypto.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
